Life never worked out for me

My name is Marilyn Archer and I am 27 years old. I graduated from a college in Pennsylvania in 2003. I was a straight A student and graduated at the top of my class. All my professor's had high hopes for me and I had even higher hopes for myself. I aspired to be a professor at a university. I planned on going to one of the top graduate schools in the US.

Senior year, I started having problems. I began to feel depressed and unmotivated. I was in a relationship with a man who I thought was the best thing that ever happened to me. Instead of the bright, aspiring, student that I was; I had become a tired, limp version of my former self.

When I began student teaching, I was paired with a male teacher who was friends with my adviser. He did not think highly of my teaching and trash talked me to anyone who would listen. He ended up giving me a C. After years of getting all A's, I had gotten a C in student teaching.

Because of the C I did not get to graduate Magna cum laude. I did not graduate with honors at all. All those years of staying in and studying instead of partying had gone to waste. No public school would hire me because of my C in student teaching, so I ended up settling for a teaching job at a private school in Philadelphia. The school was for special needs students and the work was very challenging and the pay was very low. I had to get a waitressing job at nights so I could make ends meet. I was working 16 hour days 6 days a week.

The other teacher I worked with at the school hated me. He spread false rumors about me and made false accusations against me. He told my boss that I was not doing my job, He would make up lies and tell me them so I would be hurt. He was a snake. He was also an idol on campus. All the teachers and my boss admired him. The fact that he abused students and back stabbed other teachers was not known. My life there was a living hell.

The restaurant was also a hard job. I was the head server there and was in charge of all the other servers. The bosses and customers were demanding and little praise was given. Most of the time the money was good, but some nights I would leave with 15 dollars.

I got involved with many men at both of my jobs, both emotionally and physically. I would sleep with anyone that showed any interest in me. In a 2 year period I slept with over 30 men. All of these men would take advantage of my vulnerability and would steal money from me and take advantage of me sexually. At times I was forced to perform sexual acts that I am ashamed of today. I died a little bit inside every time I had intercourse.